On the journal

A little more than 2 years ago, my dad gave each girl in my family a Moleskine journal for Christmas. I'd gone on and off of diary-writing since I was six, usually forgetting to keep it up after a few days-- so this was a surprising choice of gift for me. Nonetheless, I was touched at the gesture and decided to keep it by my bed, just in case the urge to write ever came up. As I'm sure you can figure out, it did. During all of my various "dramas" in high school where I couldn't sleep for thinking and worrying, I turned to that little black book, trying to figure out my thoughts and emotions by writing myself through them.

At the end of senior year, on the road to beach week, I brought my journal on a whim and skimmed through the pages. Through all of the exclamation points, the tearstains and capital letters, I noticed that my little book had been used far more often for sorrows than for pleasures. During the most exciting and happy times of senior year-- my surprise 18th birthday party, my constitutional academic team's win at the national championship-- I had been too overcome with the moment to bother writing down just how wonderful it all was, and consequently my memories were that much more hazy. Knowing that the months ahead would bring far less stress and far more joy than I was accustomed to, I made a promise to myself: every day, no matter what, I would capture the day. The day after graduation, I started writing down the most memorable parts of each day, with annotations, memories, and thoughts filled in depending on my mood that evening.

Turns out, that commitment to full capture was revolutionary. Just writing down the days has made me more appreciative of my time, and makes for some great entertainment in reminiscing about what has passed. On New Year's Eve, I used my journal to look at my year in review, and that made me realize just how much more I can appreciate from the months where I wrote everything down. This first year of college, with what feels like the beginning of real life, these are the days that I know I'll treasure in the decades to come. Those cliches of years flying by are true, and journaling has made me love the time I'm in that much more. I truly have become a happier person because of it.

More than just reminiscences, though, having a journal has helped me figure out what's important to me. Seeing pages fly by with the days (I'm currently halfway through a notebook I started in only September) makes me realize that I want to make each day count. In a funny way, that black book on my bedside table lets me hold accountable to myself, and make sure that I'm really gaining happiness from whatever I'm doing.

So if anyone is still looking for a New Year's resolution, I'd give a commitment to a journal a chance-- if you don't feel like your thoughts are enough, maybe just write down memories of the day. Whether it's a funny quote for a friend or a record of where you went, I can promise you that it'll prove far more interesting in a few months than you think now. As for my resolutions? Well....that's where Like Frances comes in.